Here's a quick back story to the significance of this post:
When I was 19, I married ex-husband #1. We had three kids, were married ten years, then divorced. Less than a year after getting divorced, I got the bright idea to marry again. That's where future ex-husband #2 comes in. We were married four years, together for five, had a baby, and exactly seven months ago today, we separated.
The state of Virginia has this fun law where you have to be legally separated for a year before they will allow you to file for divorce. I am seven months in to this mandatory year.
As I was sitting at work last night, I started thinking about all of the things I've learned in the last seven months. That inspired me to start writing these things down and that ignited an urge to start blogging again. All of that happened in one short evening and here I am.
I think it's fitting to start my new blog of ramblings with my list of things so here goes:
Things I've Learned Over The Last Seven Months:
1. I am so much stronger than I ever believed I could be. Being a strong woman is important when you have commitment issues but insist on committing repeatedly.
2.Friends can be the best family. I am four hours away from my bio family but I have the best friends who have become my family, my support system, the other parent to my three year old daughter, you name it, they've got it covered.
3. I honestly do not give a shit about what other people think of me or the choices that I make for my life. Like me, love me, approve of me, or don't. I'm going to keep going on no matter how you feel.
4.Some things really aren't worth fighting for and, sometimes, giving up and letting go can be the most liberating decision ever.
5.Winged eyeliner can make you feel beautiful even when you're having an ugly day.
6.Things work out. ALWAYS... They may not work out the way you planned or had hoped that they would but they do work out.
7. I over think everything.
8.Sometimes it's ok no to over think.
9.Sometimes not thinking at all is when the best things happen.
10. Talking about the events that ended my marriage does not make me a victim. It makes me a human being that needs to talk about the shit they went through.
11.I spent too many minutes, hours, days, years worried and stressed out.
12.I really miss the long, late night talks with my father and my grandmother and I would give anything to be able to have one more talk.
13.My three year old daughter didn't giggle or walk around singing to herself seven months ago. Now she never stops and I never tire of hearing it. It's true that kids, no matter how young, pick up on the vibe and the atmosphere around them and they adjust their behavior accordingly.
14.Some people shouldn't be trusted with your happiness.
15.Sometimes getting through a bad day without killing anyone will be your biggest accomplishment.
16.I will still have bad days throughout the course of my life but I just need to remind myself that I've also had days that were so much worse and I need to thank my lucky stars that no bad day will ever be as bad again.
17.I was not ok being alone, with myself as my only company until now. This is a biggie for me since I've spent my entire life of 25 years (not my real age..wink wink) not being comfortable just being alone. I cheated myself out of so much me time.
18. I need to start writing again. I used to write all the time in journals, on napkins, notebooks, and blogs and I mentally felt better.
19. I stopped writing when my life became something I didn't want to acknowledge by putting it down on paper.
20. Never again will I allow my life to become something I don't want to write about.
21.I now understand why major storms are named after people.
22. When you're going through your own personal storm, every internet meme that you see on facebook will speak to you. Do NOT repost every one.
23. I can't waste time being angry at people who are annoyed with how my life situation inconveniences them. They don't know my story and I will never get through my life situations if I keep stopping to waste time being angry at these people.
24.If seven months have gone by this quickly, the next five will be a piece of cake!
So there's a few of the millions of things I've learned over the last seven months.
Now here's a few things you need to know about me if you plan on ever visiting this blog again.
*I have a potty mouth. I mean, seriously, if potty mouth were a disease, I would be the poster child. If you're easily offended, thanks for stopping by but please don't come back.
*Very few of my posts will be serious. Laughter is important to me and if you can laugh at yourself you're an idiot.
*I have full custody of my three year old daughter. While I have three other children, the weemonkey is the one who's with me all the time. She's badass, funny, witty, and also sometimes has a potty mouth. You're going to hear a lot about her.
*My roommate and I have what can only be described as a "heterosexual life partnership". Everywhere we go people think we're a darling lesbian couple and we've been told that OUR daughter is lovely so we have that going for us.
*My job can suck eggs or can be amazing and rewarding. But it's always amusing. We'll get in to that later.
*I am destined to become the crazy cat lady. A month ago we got two kittens who have been named Benny and Blanche Deveroe and they kick ass. I would have a million of them just for the entertainment value alone.
So that's pretty much it. I'm honest, I'm blunt, I'm offensive and I don't give a shit that I am, I'm single, and I'm trying to figure out how to be an adult.
I hope you stick around and wish me luck or at least laugh at my attempts. Either way it'll be a fun ride!
I hope you stick around and wish me luck or at least laugh at my attempts. Either way it'll be a fun ride!
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