You (you know who you are) Should Be Ashamed of Yourselves!

Growing up, I always believed that I was one of the luckiest people to be growing up in the nicest area on earth. I look back and I remember people being nice to one another, having compassion, and most of all, I remember manners being like STDs are now. Everyone had them. 

When I got married (to #1), we moved to Chillicothe, Ohio. Countless people heard  me point out that people in my hometown would never have been so rude. 

Over the next 15 years, I bragged about how nice and polite my fellow West Virginians were all over the panhandle, which is nothing like the real West Virginia, in Maryland, and in Virginia too.

I actually believed that right up until I moved back almost two months ago and started regularly going out amongst these people.

I have to say, I am mortified at the horrible people I've had the misfortune to cross paths with. Manners are completely gone, there's complete disregard for the safety of children, and, I'm probably poking the momma bear here but some of yalls kids are fucking assholes.

And don't even get me started on my recent visits to Walmart. 

Alright, you get one story from Walmart... Only because you asked for it.

Yesterday, Lila, my mother, and I were in the toothpaste isle. Lila was trying to make the tough decision of which toothbrush she wanted when I felt someone bang into my cart. Now, I am not one of the nicest people but if I feel like I can't get down an isle, I say "excuse me". Instead, this older couple decided to bang into my daughter, mother, and I until they got by. Walmart makes me grouchy anyway but rude assholes are too much. My mom, who's way nicer than I am is trying to help me move the cart out of the way while this couple keeps banging off of it. 

Mom says "Tracy (cart bang), scoot the (cart bang) cart (bang) over and (bang) let these (bang) people by (bang)"

While I have manners, I am also a sarcastic, mouthy little prick too. As they're banging into us, I say to my mother  "gosh, I wasn't sure they wanted by. Nobody says excuse me around here anymore". 

The man of the couple then yells at me "were we supposed to?" To which I shouted back "actually, yeah. You were supposed to".

What in the actual fucking fuck???

First of all, I was raised to respect my elders but how far does that go if they're being completely disrespectful to me and my family? I am trying to raise children to be respectful but I'm also trying not to raise them to be fucking doormats for pricks.

In my head, this is all I could picture:

Me fist fighting with an elderly couple as my grandparents look down, shaking their heads, from the big senior center in the sky. All the while, Lila is shooting the couple with toothpaste and macing them with Listerine as an attempt to come in with the assist and my mother is yelling "Tracy Lynn! You stop that right now!!!"

I was raised with manners, I've had my mouth washed out with soap more than I care to remember, I've had my ass beat, I've had "don't you dare look at me in that tone of voice" and "keep crying and I'll give you a reason to cry" said to me a million times, and I have been given a reason to cry when I called my mothers bluff over that threat. 

And here I am, not even two months back yet, imagining sucker punching the elderly in the forehead and slapping the shit out of someone's asshole kids. 

If this keeps up, I might end up in a cabin in the woods and only venturing out once every six months in an effort to save my sanity and some of these assholes lives.

Seriously, somebody better fix this shit or I have a lot of entire towns to apologize to!

I Have A Thousand Excuses...

Yes, I know it's been a hot minute since I've posted something on here and I'm sure all of you missed me (all two of you). I would love to throw the excuse out there that I've been so busy that I haven't had time to write anything, that I've been so busy doing exciting life things to be able to sit down and write about them. Blah, blah, blah...

The truth is, now that the move is over, I've spent the last month sitting around waiting for things to happen. 

Lila and I have been here five weeks as of this past Friday. As I wrote that last sentence, I had to stop and try to figure out how it's even possible that five weeks have gone by. Then I realized, we haven't been sitting down at all.

I have managed to reconnect with some friends that I've missed dearly since moving away all of those years ago, I start my new job in exactly one week, and Lila starts pre k in two. 

(Shelly, you have no idea how much I have truly missed you!!)

Susie (my mother) has seemed to settle in to having two extra people in her house, especially the toddler who acts like a monkey on crack most of the time.

I will say that I feel very lucky to have had six weeks with Lila before having to go back to work. Six uninterrupted, constantly together weeks... 

All joking aside, Lila and I have been doing some pretty great things together the last five weeks, a lot of those things have been thanks to my mother.

We spent the evening of our first full day here, July 4th, watching fireworks....

That look right there... That look is priceless.

We spent some time on her first Ferris wheel ride where she scared the shit out of me about every two seconds.

I was thrilled to have a long weekend with all of the monkeys here. 

We stayed so busy while all of them were here doing fun things. As soon as we got back from taking them home, I took my most favorite picture of Lila in the history of ever. Behold, exhausted sleeping wee spawn!

This photo opportunity may never happen again...

In my effort to help Lila adjust to country living, she's made some interesting friends:

The horses and sheep at the farm across the street have become an almost daily walking destination.

She spent an evening with Ana and Elsa.

This nut (the brown lump) that she found on a hike. She's become attached to it for some reason and has even named it Rolly. 

Last but not least, this creepy as fuck baby doll she found in a tote while mom and I were trying to downsize my shit ton of stuff I've accumulated over the years. I have no idea where this doll came from and I'm not at all creeped out that Lila has started putting the doll in strange places and now has it hold props.

The truth is, I have been busy. I've spent the last five weeks falling in love all over again with the place I grew up and some of the people who are still here. I've taken my children to some of my most favorite places on this earth and tried to explain to them why these places were important.

I have one week left before I have to go back to being an adult and figuring out what the next step should be for Lila and I. And, sorry to break it to you, but I don't plan on spending this last week writing about it.