What Do I Do Now?

The big move is finally finished. My things are safely locked away in a storage unit and, the things I brought with me, are neatly unpacked and put away in my old bedroom. 

I'm sitting on the back porch of my childhood home listening to the familiar sound of bullfrogs croaking and the comfortable silence that comes with living in West Virginia. For the first time in three years, I feel like I'm finally breathing again. That's an amazing feeling.

As an added bonus, I've found some small treasures while making room for my things.

This phone cord once served as part of my line of communication with the outside world, or at least to people who lived two miles away. I remember twirling it around my fingers while having rambling phone conversations about who was dating who and the nerve of some bitch at school.  It was also the bane of my existence when it became a tangled mess. 

It hit me, after Lila asked what it was, that none of my children will ever know the joys and anger that this simple cord can cause.

Then there was the duffel bag that I carried to every football game throughout my high school career. It was filled with all of the necessary paraphernalia that a proper majorette needed to do a stellar job. Things like Aquanet, blue eyeshadow, and Exclamation perfume once filled this bag.

And this little photo album filled with the senior pictures of my best friends. The pages are old and were stuck together (from age. Not from a Pervy nasty stick together way...) and some of the name cards had fallen out but I would know these people anywhere.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if the girl that lived here twenty years ago existed. Marriages, divorces, becoming a mother, and moving away tend to change a person. But, finding these things have brought a comfort to me and given me a reassurance that she not only existed, but, she's still in there somewhere. That makes me feel better because she was kind of a badass who took shit from nobody and stood up for what she thought was right. 

And, if that weren't reassuring enough...

I've always got this can of liquid gold to fall back on....